....my secret lover


This week we dove off the solid banks of earth into the watery realm of Svadhisthana …..our sacral chakra.  The element of water.  Our creativity, moisture, fluidity, desire and sensuality.  The feminine.  Interestingly enough, the Post ran two articles this week on the impact of aging on women’s sexuality.

Yes, as the years go by, and life piles on, women tend to want sex less often than men.  Sometimes dwindling to the point where the urge can feel nonexistent.  Usually we are told that it a “known fact” that women’s libido decreases, which has led to the development of medical treatments and the pink pill.   But do we really need more medicine?

One of this week’s article stated that older women’s wants were different and that intimacy became more important than a good orgasm.  PLEASE.  Are they serious?  Since when did I have to choose one over the other?  I want a deep soul connection and an earth rocking orgasm, and that isn’t too much to ask.  But when it isn’t happening we begin to believe that is just how things are. 

Several years ago I was listening to Christine Northrup MD, an expert on women’s health issues and menopause, and she commented that the best cure for a stalled sex life is a new partner.  It stopped me in my tracks.  What, as my ears perked up?  She then went on to say that the new partner can be you.  It makes perfect sense.  If I don’t clearly know what it is that I want, how can I expect anyone else to fulfill my desire?

I offer yet another angle to this threesome.  That the new partner can be the Universe.  A secret, juicy, wild, messy love affair with all that is……..

Sensuality blooms from within.  We ourselves need to feel free, wild, open and untamed, in order to share that with another.  And the Universe is eager to help.

But somehow the old 9-5 job, carpool, emails, meetings and chores pull many of us away from our primal nature.  Our attention is spent on matters of the mind and doesn’t venture down nearly enough to our pelvic floor where the Shakti energy resides.  Our breath becomes shallow never reaching the depths below where the spark waits patiently to be lit. 

The Universe is a willing and available partner.  Make a standing date to keep the pilot light burning.  It can be entire evenings, lazy afternoons or stolen moments during the day. 

As you sit reading this  note, spread the knees away from each other, and notice where your attentions goes.  Take a bath with lavender and salts by candlelight.  Turn on your most sensual music and move to its rhythm.   Get drunk from the smell of roses and warm from the blaze of the fire.  Stand under the full moon and draw down her power.  Look up to let the stars sparkle in your eyes.  Face the sun spread your arms wide and shine back with all of your heart.  Let the beauty of the sky at sunset bring you to tears.

Get dirty….really dirty.  Wear what makes you feel sexy, or nothing at all.  Close your eyes and feel the full body embrace of the wind.  Let the hoot of the owl touch you at your very center, and the bitter cold make you shiver.  Let the night noises lull you to sleep.   Lie down spread eagle on the floor in the middle of the room.  Place your hands on your belly and send the breath down….down….down.   Notice your pelvic floor often.

Life is to be lived.  Felt.  Explored.  Swallowed.  Tasted. 

Make love to the Universe.  Only you will know……